Mona Barbera
Problem / Solution

You found your life partner and want to live happily with him or her but
...what do you do when you feel hurt or disappointed?

How do you get through the tough times with renewed vitality and commitment?
What do you do with the angry, attacking, distancing, collapsed feelings within yourself?
What do you do when you want your partner to take better care of himself, when you suspect an affair, when you have problems with in-laws or money, when your partner doesn't listen?

Read about common relationshp problems and their surprising solutions. Dr. Mona gives you the simple - but not always easy at first - answers. These are the solutions that will give you peace and serenity within yourself, and set the stage for you to get the love you always wanted.

Relationship Problem
Relationship Solution

Problem #1

I'm worried – my partner has an unhealthy lifestyle. I want to help him change, for his (or her) own good. How do I make him (or her) listen?

Solution #1

You may have the best intentions when you approach your spouse with these ideas -- but you might not get the best response right away!
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Problem #2

You're problems seem so big and you despair that they will ever be solved. You're worried about money, sex, parenting, communication, social life, fairness in household chores and you don't see things changing.
Solution #2

You don't have to solve your problems – solve the moment instead!! Happy marriages have problems, year after year, just like you do, but the partners get through them moment by moment, with connection and surprising fun. Here are three steps:
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Problem #3

You're hurt and disappointed with your partner's behavior. He or she is disrespectful, controlling, dismissive, uncaring, uncommited - and you're agitated, confused, hopeless, and upset. What can you do?
Solution #3

Give better back than you feel you are getting. When their is criticism, be curious; when there is distance, be connected; when there is agitation, be calm.
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Problem #4

I'm divorced and gun shy – How can I avoid picking he wrong partner again? I don't trust my judgment anymore.
Solution #4

When you find a prospect, and you notice something that you don't like, speak up about it with calm, connection, compassion, and curiosity.
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Mona Barbara Photo Mona Barbera
Dr. Mona is a psychologist, couples therapist, couples workshop leader, speaker, and the author of Bring Yourself to Love: How Couples Can Turn Disconnection into Intimacy.
About Mona | Blog | Advice

Bring Yourself To Love Relationship Advice Book
This readable and engaging book uses vivid examples and exercises to help couples move from blaming, shaming, and distancing to staying calm, connected and curious.
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© 2009 Mona R. Barbera. All Rights Reserved.